Hitting a wall? Lean against it.

Beloveds,

I'll admit that I hit a wall this week.  

There are federal troops in unmarked cars detaining peaceful protestors in Portland. John Lewis died. (But god, what a life!  Thank you Mr. Lewis.)  Covid is surging in some areas of the country while many leaders deny its severity and block efforts to ameliorate the situation. 

The list goes on. 

And like so many of us right now, I had a personal grief bomb drop into my life last week.

So, I hit a wall.  And instead of banging my head against it (a bad habit), I slumped down and used its solidity to support the weight of my sorrow.  

I sat with it: the grief, the fear, the unknown, the rage.  

I softened my resistance to these difficult emotions, soothed myself with deep breath and hands on my heart, and allowed myself to stay in it without resistance.  

It helped. A lot.

I continue to rely on the guidance of Dr. Kristin Neff  to guide me through a "Soften, Soothe, Allow" meditation daily.  You can try it here. 

A really important part of this for me is resisting the temptation to go to my phone and distract myself from the pain and fear.  The slot machines in our pockets rob us of the opportunity to sit with hard emotions and build resilience.  They numb us out and distract us.  

These days the temptation to doom scroll is powerful.  When I feel the pull, I shut my phone and laptop down.  Not DND or Airplane Mode.  I just turn them off, and it disrupts the trance and reminds me to stay with what I’m feeling.

Every struggle, every hard thing prepares us for the next one.  

Stay with it.  Put your phone away.  Soften, soothe, allow.

BTW, I recently read this gorgeous article by adrienne maree brown. 

Please do yourself a favor and check it out, and if you feel moved, please pay her or become a member of her website. 

Much love,
Christina

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