Are online hangouts the 4th stage of grief?

I am holding and immense paradox this days: gratitude that I can use technology to stay connected to my loved ones and grief that I cannot fully meet a gaze, hold a hand, embrace, or communicate without awkward delays and lag times. ⠀
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I have been wondering: is our initial embrace of moving every social interaction online related to bargaining? We so desperately want to be able to say "See, everything is normal." ⠀
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At first, I was really enjoying online hangouts and cocktail parties, but 4 weeks into the stay-at-home order, I can feel myself feeling exhausted after these gatherings. ⠀
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There is just that sense that something is missing. ⠀
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We cannot get our hits of the happy hormone oxytocin through a screen and the parts of our brains wired for deep, embodied connection do not light up. ⠀

And I realized that for me, some of that initial enthusiasm was a way to bargain and buy time before moving into the real grief of not knowing when I will see my 80-year-old father again, embrace my son again, or sit across a table to share a meal with dear friends. ⠀
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Elizabeth Kubler-Ross originally conceptualized 5 stages of grief. ⠀
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Later in life, she clarified that the stages are not linear and collaborated with David Kessler @iamdavidkessler at grief.com to expand to 6 stages of grief:⠀

1. Denial⠀

2. Anger⠀

3. Bargaining⠀

4. Depression⠀

5. Acceptance⠀

6. Meaning⠀

Can you identify where you're at now? ⠀
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I'd love to hear about how you're doing! Please reply to this email if you feel moved to share.
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Oh yeah - here's another paradox: I am currently deep in the development stage of some some online offerings to help you get the most of your time offline. ⠀
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As Walt Whitman once said ⠀
"Do I contradict myself?⠀
Very well then I contradict myself;⠀
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)"⠀

P.S. If you’ve read this far, thank you! I invite you to join my mailing list for occasional musings and updates on retreats and events. I won't spam you, or share your data. Let's start supporting small businesses on platforms they own!