White Accountability and Mirror Neurons
Hi my friends,
I am going to do my very best not to make this just another well-meaning email about my commitment to Black Lives Matter and racial justice. I will likely miss-the-mark, because to many Black ears, I imagine that all of this sounds very too-little-too-late. A million well-intended emails are not going to bring back the dead.
But I was inspired by a conversation with my brilliant right-hand-woman and DMRET's Digital Marketing Director, Rebecca Van Damm when she mentioned that White people sharing steps for accountability is like activating mirror neurons: the part of our brains that fire both when we act and when we observe others acting. This is why we yawn when someone sitting across from us yawns.*
Accountability can be contagious.
I have been reflecting on a life where I have felt committed to thinking and acting from a racial justice framework and am painfully aware of the ways that I have fallen short. One of my biggest missteps has been hesitation for fear of "doing it wrong."
I am deepening my commitment to moving forward with humility and accepting correction. My goal here is to inelegantly model my attempt at deeper accountability with the hope that I can support and encourage my White friends and colleagues to do the same. (Want to start an accountability group? Respond to this email!)
I welcome critique and correction from my BIPOC friends and colleagues and will manage my defensiveness and fragility before responding.
As Rachel Rodgers says, if it does not cost us anything, it's not doing anything. So my strategies below are based on cost: time, money, reputation and comfort:
1. I am postponing my next cohort of Screen Time Lifeline to July 5 so I can take more time to step back to think about how to further decolonize my programming.
2. I will be changing the name of this business to something that does not include the word "mindfulness." I believe that meditation and mindfulness are powerful tools that change lives and will continue to contextualize and use them in my work. But although I have a regular meditation practice and a lot of experience teaching secular mindfulness skills in a clinical setting, I do not currently have a spiritually grounded practice connected to a Buddhist lineage. I have made attempts to justify the use of this term, knowing it was problematic, and for that I apologize. I will be rolling out the new name and a new website in late summer.
3. When my new website is completed I will pay a BIPOC (Black Indigenous Person of Color) to review it for accountability and sensitivity to issues of racial justice.
4. I am also planning to phase out use of the term "wellness." Although there some amazing Women of Color and White women working to decolonize this term, I have never been fully comfortable with it. If not used carefully, it can evoke Whiteness, high-end luxury and spiritual bypass. I will be working on finding other ways to describe my work, while at the same time, supporting those who are seeking to redefine what "wellness" means.
5. I will continue donating 10% of the proceeds from my programming to causes led by Black people with a commitment to raise that when (and if) this business starts turning a profit.
6. When it is safe to hold in-person events again, I will continue to carefully consider the venues I choose and ask about their commitment to racial justice. I will be especially mindful of this when holding retreats in Mexico, which is a country that is often consumed by Americans like a Spring Break resort with no honor for Mexican culture or awareness of the negative impacts of White tourism. If I do hold retreats in Mexico, I will donate a portion of the proceeds to local group serving the community and national groups supporting immigrant rights.
7. I will consistently use an anti-racist lens to frame my work, knowing that I need to keep listening to BIPOC leaders to inform that lens.
8. I will be amplifying Black and BIPOC voices intentionally and consistently on social media and my mailing list, even if its not "on brand."
9. I will continue to engage in more self-education and amplification about digital racism.
10. I will continue to hire Black and BIPOC contractors and vendors whenever possible and will go out of my way to do so.
11. I will continue to offer scholarships to my events for BIPOC people.
12. If there's interest, I will share my curriculum for free if there are BIPOC people interested in this work who are not comfortable with a White facilitator
13. I will continue to seek out classes and workshops taught by BIPOC to deepen my awareness of how I can do better.
14. I will not put off reading books by Black authors because I'm "too busy."
15. On that note: I will rest more . To be honest, I often do not practice what I preach. As it turns out, starting a business on top of a full-time job is a lot of work, and I have not had the humility to accept that I cannot get it all done and never will. I often succumb to the White, capitalistic tendency toward workaholism, perfectionism and hustle culture. (Please check out The Nap Ministry for more on this). When I am unrested, I am not grounded. When I am not grounded I get mired in shame or freeze related to my own racism and am at best harmful (look up White Fragility) and at worst, dangerous (Think Amy Cooper and Derek Chauvin) to Black and Brown people.
16. Due to racist communication on their part, I have cut ties with The Digital Wellness Collective. I will continue to stay in relationship and discussion with members of that group who are open to exploring topics of Whiteness and racism, but will no longer pay dues to DWC.
16. I will review these commitments quarterly and create a scorecard to track my progress which I will share publicly.
17. And through all of this I will seek direct accountability from Mentors of Color and pay them for their guidance even if they are personal friends and not serving in a professional capacity.
Thanks for reading all of this through. I'm curious: what do you think? I'm open to feedback, further discussion and community.
With Love,
Christina
* I am aware that my mirror neuron analogy is not neurobiologically correct! Its a metaphor. You get it, right? : )
P.S. If you’ve read this far, thank you! I invite you to join my mailing list for occasional musings and updates on retreats and events. I won't spam you, or share your data. Let's start supporting small businesses on platforms they own!